Cakeless Cake

As the old saying goes, “You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.” Luckily I didn’t want to make an omelette, not because I don’t like breaking eggs but because I didn’t have any. What I did have was a whole lot of apples. Something had to be done with them. I thought baking them, in a cake, would be just the thing.

The question was how to bake a cake without eggs. I turned to google. My instinct was correct. Recipes for eggless cake filled several pages. After a little reading I distilled that using oil, baking powder and water would do the trick. I happened to have all of those things. So I set about peeling and chopping the apples. After eating several of them I had a lovely pile of peeled chopped apples.


The next step was to ‘combine all the dry ingredients’ with the apples. Apparently as long as you have self raising flour you can do anything. I reached into the pantry for the self raising flour. There was dessicated coconut, powdered ginger, grated nutmeg, slivered almonds and rolled oats. More than enough ‘dry ingredients’. But nothing labelled flour. However I wasn’t going to let a small hitch like this stop me baking an apple cake. Admittedly I did feel a little silly. As Lady Bracknell might say, “To bake a cake without eggs may be regarded as a misfortune but to bake a cake without flour and eggs looks like carelessness.”

Before we proceed any further I must post several warnings. This is not a recipe for vegans, vegetarians or those with a lactose or gluten intolerance. This is not a recipe for flourless, eggless cake. This is a recipe for disaster.

However, at the time the question was, how to bake an apple cake without eggs, and without flour. I have been in tough situations before. Usually when faced with what seems an impossible task, I give up.

But not this time. I was determined to succeed, to use all of my experience, my strength, my determination. I would even use my brain if I had to. That being a last resort I googled again. Surely someone had successfully attempted a flourless, eggless, cake. Nothing. But I am nothing if not optimistic. I had spotted a can of cannellini beans in the cupboard. I decided they would be the perfect substitute for flour. After all, they are the same colour. If nothing else it would be an interesting way to clean out the cupboard.


So I got out my mini stick blender and whipped the beans into a lovely creamy paste. Then I ‘folded’ in all the dry ingredients. My spirits lifted. Perhaps we would eat cake after all. All I needed now was an oven. And that I had.

But after about an hour and a half I still didn’t have cake. If I baked any longer I would have hot coals. I took the ‘cake’ out of the oven. Scooping it out onto a rack to cool I stole a taste. I was pleasantly surprised. It reminded me of apple crumble. But there was something missing. What it really needed was some fresh whipped cream. And some eggs. And flour.


About sagesomethymes

Daniela is a writer, theatre producer and civic educator. She has had short stories and poetry published in: 'Prayers of a Secular World', Inkerman & Blunt; 'Blue Crow Magazine', Blue Crow Press; 'Knitting and other stories', Margaret River Press and Radio National’s '360 documentaries'. Her debut play, 'Talc', was produced in 2010. Her short play, 'Sicilian Biscotti', was produced for the launch of “Women Power and Culture” at New Theatre in 2011 and shortlisted for the Lane Cove Literary Award in 2015. Her second full length play, 'Friday', was produced by SITCO at the Old Fitzroy Theatre in 2013. 'The Poor Kitchen' was produced in 2016 as part of the Old 505 Theatre’s Fresh Works Season and was published by the Australian Script Centre in 2017 ( It was re-staged by Patina Productions at Limelight on Oxford in 2019. She co-wrote 'Shut Up And Drive' with Paul Gilchrist and it was produced at KXT in 2016. 'Seed Bomb' was produced at Old 505 Theatre as part of the FreshWorks Season in 2019 and has been published by the Australian Script Centre ( She co-wrote 'Softly Surely' with Paul Gilchrist and it was produced at Flight Path Theatre in 2022. She is the co-founder of indie theatre company subtlenuance ( Her published short stories can be read via the Short Stories tab on this blog.
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1 Response to Cakeless Cake

  1. You have to be commended for persistence if nothing else! Keep cooking!

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